 - Under what circumstances did you experience your first orgasm? How soon did it happened after you had your first sex? Would you give yourself the credit of, or was it your partner's experience or special concurrence of circumstances? Did you remember the first time as something special, or had you stronger sensations in later on?
I lived with Sergey for 2 years. To tell you the truth I had never been happy in bed with him. He turned out to be too serious of a person. As far as sex went, he accepted only, what he called, 'natural' contact between a man and a woman. And with that kind of contact he was not able to give me much pleasure, changing positions was all it was about.
I tried talking to him about female masturbation, but his reaction appeared to be negative, just like my mother's. So I never approached that subject again.
Basically the situation was pretty strange - I had sex with a man that did not bring me much joy (why were we living together then?). I satisfied myself occasionally exactly like I did in childhood (what did I need a man for? Could have done without him easily).
The paradox was that out of a partner Sergey gradually became an opponent (like my mother before). Not a friend or a lover, but an object of my sexual experiments. Sometimes, instead of wanting to go to bed with him, I stood behind the door of the room where he worked, and having pulled my panties down masturbated, enjoying the thrill. That gave me more satisfaction than sex with him. I did not think of him personally at moments like those. Basically, any other person could have been in the room instead of him.
Realistically speaking after 2 years of 'family life' I probably subconsciously wanted to change things (although I was not deliberately searching for something different). Remember myself at those days I understand that was how I was. I even behaved that way - pretending to be a little girl, I tried to please every man, smiled at them ingratiatingly, stared at them with my mouth open when they spoke (as if trying not to miss a word). I was well-wishing and sugary sweet.
Once I decided to spend a weekend at my parents' dacha. Serezhka did not go with me, he did not like my parents much, or likely just quailed at my farther (my father is a big-time entrepreneur - short tempered and rough man).
That night my father was entertaining guests (tough guys like himself), they were playing cards. I loved those gatherings. The men were all mature, intelligent, shrewd. It was fun to hear them talking, to listen to their remarks, I especially liked their humor - kind of black humor, but never vulgar and always to the point. I had earned my right to be present at the gatherings long time ago, because I waited on them pouring drinks, and offering light to smokers. And most important just kept my mouth shut, never interfered, just watched the game and listened to conversation.
And, of cause, although I did not say much, I hang around them, smiled at everybody and tried to flirt. There was a man in the company that I found especially interesting, the youngest one, he was 36. He has very handsome - as resolute and confident as all of them. But mostly I was scared and, at the same time attracted by his look - slightly sullen, scanning and shrewd. When he looked at me I felt creepy all over with the thrill - seemed he could see me through.
That night the atmosphere in the cards room was especially elevated. The game was muddled, but funny and excitable. Everybody was lucky in his turn, big money changed hands all the time. Everybody was excited hoping for his luck, I also caught the mood and hovered about sometimes interfering with the game. At one of those moments when I made too much fuss around that guy, Andrey not letting him figure out his cards properly, he smacked my butt slightly to keep me off.
To smack a butt of my father's daughter may be beyond a joke, actually, so Andrey immediately darted a glance at my father and then at me. But everybody understood correctly, I was smiling happily, so he calmed down. But he must have noticed something in my eyes, because his attentive glance lingered at me for a second. And indeed... that smack of his made me feel something. Like a breeze... Short, but very sensuous...
When guests began to disperse to bedrooms for the night, Andrey lingered with me (I stayed in the room to clean up). We talked casually, flirted a bit, I said something sarcastic to him, and got my butt smacked immediately again, this one was pretty deliberate and fruity.
Andrey looked at me searchingly, I looked up at him resigned. Our conversation stopped there, I think our eyes said all to each other.
The next day, on Saturday I suddenly made up my mind to go back to Petersburg. As I expected, the first one who volunteered to give me a lift was Andrey. So, I was not imagining it... That was what I was expecting. We talked on the way back and he suggested we stopped at his place for a cup of coffee. It was more of an order than a suggestion, so I obeyed implicitly. Then his commanding tone became more strict and confident.
I think that he was experienced in relationships with a girl with troubles similar to mine. Or probably he was just very experienced and shrewd person, who was able to guess me right. Or I myself behaved so, that he was able to guess which way he was supposed to go. One way or another, he did not drag me to bed. Instead he talked to me, his talk becoming more and more rough.
A Demanding Master was sitting in an arm chair with his feet on the table. Smoking and sipping cognac he gave humiliating orders to the Bad Girl in a scornful tone. She stood in front of him with her panties down and blushing with shame and embarrassment was showing him how she 'does dirty things'.
Repugnance was on the Master's face when he called the Bad Girl up, put her over his knee and punished her, slapped her buttocks, shamed her and scolded. But that was not enough for him. He humiliated the poor Girl any way he could. Made her sit in front of him with her legs spread wide and pull apart the lips of her vulva so that each of her secret folds was seen. He wanted to see in every detail that very spot that the girl rubbed so vilely.
The scene made the Master even more indignant. The girl had to 'suck cock' in punishment. All the dirty words and humiliation made the poor girl cry, but she had to obey.
She understood the justice of the punishment and had to take that object into her mouth for the first time. But yet the Master is not happy. She is not doing it well enough. 'You will do it with your cunt now, but do it well, or...'
The poor Bad Girl is trying to do her best. She takes the object inside her, caresses it with her body, strokes it with the walls of her vagina. She is so obedient; she wants to be forgiven so much, she is so happy at the chance to win his pardon... that in a few minutes a fiery sphere explodes in her head and her vagina responds with a series of short convulsive grasps caused by the most acute rapture... I came. For the first time in my life. First cheating and first orgasm happened at the same time...
It took me long time to come back to my senses, for long time I was lying on Andrey's chest not able to look him in the eyes, embarrassed of what had happened. But when I finally did I saw a completely different person. Intelligent, kind, dear eyes, understanding and forgiving everything on earth.
Merciless Mister Hide was gone, the kindest Doctor Jekyll took his place. So, not giving a damn about others - good and decent - I live with those two gentlemen now.
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